I can’t remember how many times in my personal life I’ve felt like I was settling. Every time I dated someone it felt like I was too good and that they should appreciate me because I was a catch while they were “good enough” for me. Although I know this might come off a bit narcissistic and I’m very well aware of it — know that I don’t mean this from a place of cockiness. I mean that through my life I’ve been so hurt and made to believe that I’m not worthy of true, genuine love that I started settling for the guys who felt “safe”.
The guys who didn’t meet my attraction standards just to feel safe and secure in myself so that no matter what happened they would feel lucky to have me and wouldn’t dare step out of line and disrespect me. Which I’m sure a few of you reading this can relate — I played myself.
It was a shock to me when I found out that even after settling — you could still be taken for granted. I dated men who did not deserve a chance and when they even treated me like crap I realized — you could be everything and that still won’t make the wrong person be the right one.
After many failed attempts at love, I always found myself sad and desperate for answers. I had worked on myself, gotten to know myself, loved myself, said my affirmations, read the self-help books, wrote my feelings out, tried not to want it. I did everything you’re supposed to do and at times it felt like no matter how good I was NO ONE would ever love me. I even went as far as thinking that if all else failed I would settle for my ex. Just as long as it meant I wouldn’t end up lonely.
After a while and on a random day I met my current boyfriend. It truly was when I least expected it but he has come making me feel things I didn’t think were possible or that I was capable of feeling anymore. Now that I have someone who loves me and values me for me I can look back and make sense of why every single person who I thought I wanted and I should settle for didn’t make sense. No matter how hard I tried to make it fit it never did because that’s not where I belonged. Having someone love you, understand you, fight for you and believe in the love you share and who you are is a priceless feeling I wish on everybody.
For you reading this — tired of waiting for the right guy, thinking it’ll never happen to you, I beg you to keep hope. Wait for the one who makes you feel like you’ve never felt before. Like you’re worth loving and fighting for, for the one who makes loving you and meeting your standards a pleasure instead of a chore. Wait for the person who loves you as much as you love yourself and give that person a chance.
Love is real and it does exist. For a long time I thought I was going to have to settle and live a life full of “good enough” until I felt what it was like to be truly loved. Wait for love. You deserve it.