When Being Too Much Has Never Led To Enough…Things I’m Learning On My Dick Cleanse

Isn’t it weird that as humans we like to think that we have any sort of control over who we attract as romantic partners? Sure you can dye your hair a certain color, dress a certain way, be more lady-like, more soft spoken, less stern when you talk or you can be the life of the party, then turn around and do it all like housewife? You can be this, you can be that but at the end of the day none of it matters because the only thing you truly are is yourself.

I used to believe that I could fit into these molds of perfection my partners set up for me. The perfect body, pretty face, the charming personality, kindness, selflessness, etc and somehow they still left. It still didn’t workout and I was still left wondering why it never worked out. I couldn’t figure out why in the world my relationships weren’t working out if i was doing anything and everything that was necessary to keep it afloat. If I was everything I thought I should be, why was i still being left behind feeling imperfect? Why were people finding flaws in me they had to tolerate and make me leave behind?

I wish I could say I learned this lesson the first time. Shit! Even the second or third would’ve been nice but it’s taken a lot of years, tears, failed relationships and endless disappointments to realize that there is nothing I need to be that I’m already not. Let me break it down for you guys…. I used to try really hard to impress people only to raise the expectations people had on who I was supposed to be. Until one day (rather recently) I decided that simply being myself was enough. Being me has attracted and started the perfect relationships, friendships, business partnerships, life friends and situations that are best suit for me and the way I am. I don’t mean perfect as in there’s never any flaws or things never go wrong. But perfect because at the end of it all they’re real. The people in my life all expect me to be me and are never surprised or unprepared to receive me as I truly am because this is who I’ve been all along. Through my journey I realized that I could fool someone into thinking I was everything they wanted me to be but at the end of the day — true colors always show. You can fool some people sometimes, but you can’t fool everyone all the time.

I’m honest. I’m real. I’m crystal clear with my intentions, expectations and necessities.
To some people it seems extreme and intimidating at first but the people who are turned off by that are the same people who have no business being a part of my life. Long gone are the days of me trying to fit someone’s idea of perfection. That’s for love, life and friendship. Take me as I am or don’t take me at all!
You might be too much for all the wrong people but you’ll be just enough for the right one.

 

Hope this inspires some of you tossed further into yourself. Your healing, your life. I am currently still on my “dick-cleanse” (read about it a few posts back) and solitude has brought a lot of power, self knowledge and self worth.

I wish this feeling on all of you.

Till next time,

The raw, honest and hot headed — Stacey D.

4 Replies to “When Being Too Much Has Never Led To Enough…Things I’m Learning On My Dick Cleanse”

  1. Stacey girl,

    Preeeach! I am also on a “dick cleanse” and recently decided to give (what seemed to be like) a decent guy a shot. There were many times where it was so clear he couldn’t handle my self-love and confidence. It was to the point where he actually said to me “humble yourself”. Um, no. Bottom line, he’s outta my life now and I’m back to living dick free! Lol

    Keep doing you girl and like they say: mejor sola que mal acompañada.

    Like

  2. Stacey, thanks to your 30 day dick cleanse blog, I decided to go on my own 30 day dick cleanse 💁 I’m 12 days in and I feel amaaaaazing. No anxiety waiting for a call or text, no need to think if I’m going to be good enough for the next guy I go on a date with, just me and my unique self doing me me me things, loving myself, respecting myself being loyal to myself 🙂
    Ever since I was 14 years old I’ve always had a boyfriend or boys that liked me and I could run to them anytime of the day, and just like you my Libra charm attracts boys to the yard lol so I decided to deactivate my social media and stay away from “good morning beautiful” texts/conversations from random guys bc #1 I’m freshly out of a toxic relationship that almost lasted 2 years and I am not ready to date so who am I to play with other people’s feelings if I know it’s not going to go anywhere and #2 my cup needs to be full, so I’m working a lot on who I am, who I want to be, how I want my life to be ( I’m a mother of 2 cuties so this is super important for me) and then when my cup is full and it starts overflowing maybe then I’ll be able to share some of that overflow with a special someone. Another thing is that I grew up without a dad in my life and my mom was such a loving strong woman I never THOUGHT I needed my dad, but I think the way I love when I’m in love is telling me that there is something missing in me, maybe I’m looking for that love that I didn’t have from my dad in these guys but I have to find that love within me first bc no one is responsible for my own love and happiness (easy to say a bit harder than I thought to do) anyway enough with the essay or since you are a beautiful Latina like me, enough with the novela lol thanks for sharing in this blog, trust me your words are making a difference in my life, que Diosito te siga bendiciendo ❤

    Like

    1. Damn girl right in the feels! Thank you so much for letting me know how my blog has impacted you. I decided to extend and now I’m on like month 2! Feels amazing but def can’t wait a quench’s me den unaaaaa lololol thank you for reading<3

      Like

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