Woah…That came off strong. Maybe even a little mean but it is so true!
Through my life I’ve dated different types of people. The asshole, the one who was “perfect” for me, the rebound, etc…but I swear to G, the one that annoyed me the most was the lil b.
Now, I don’t know if it’s because I’m an Aries and the majority of us have type A leadership personalities but it’s almost as if — me knowing I can run you over and push you to your limits encourages me to do just that. PUSH PUSH PUSH till either you can’t take it anymore or I feel horrible and break up with you because I stepped all over you like a little puppy. It’s probably not one of my proudest traits but it does leave me to wonder — does the perfect balance between alpha and beta relationships exist?
As many of you know I have dated both men and women. When I dated just women there was always a confusing dynamic for me in my relationships because as nature calls there is always an alpha and a beta in every relationships. With straight couples, normally the dude takes the leadership role and the woman, the more submissive role. When I dated women there always seemed to be this unclear agreement where neither of us knew which role to take. Should I open doors? Should I pay? Am I the big spoon because I’m tall even though I like being little spoon? Do I give head first? Lmao, you know typical lesbian questions. As I’ve grown older and learned what I like and don’t like on a female partner I’ve also learned more about what “my role” is in a same sex relationship. I am ok with paying, I am ok with being a provider, killing the spiders, basically taking the leadership role. This doesn’t make me more masculine because I still enjoy dressing up, wearing heels, etc. It just means I’ve found my comfort zone as a partner.
Now, when it comes to heterosexual relationships — it’s a whole other story. I first started dating dudes three years ago. So because I come from a different kind of relationship dynamic this has shown some trouble. Don’t get me wrong — I love being taken care of, taken out, spoiled and all the cute things that involve a relationship but when it comes to all the not cute things — I’ll be the first to say “alright then if you don’t want to be with me then leave.” I have created a wall of comfort in which I know I am self sufficient and will not tear down the walls to beg anyone to do anything for me.
I can spoil myself, finance myself, take care of myself and basically do everything by myself but the raw, honest truth is that I don’t want to. In my mind I have created this idea in which I have a partner who treats me as an equal but still takes the leadership role. A person who is ready to be proactive in times of emergency or simply willing to be the backbone of our home. In no way am I saying I am looking for someone to fully take care of all responsibilities but simply someone who willingly takes the role of leadership.
So where does that leave a person like me? Does the ideal relationship with two alphas exist? Are beta men attracted to me because of my willingness to lead? Am I too alpha for all alpha males? Should I change my behavior to suit someone else’s needs?
Let’s talk! I’ll post a picture on Instagram to discuss the topic. Come give me your thoughts.