Dick & Headaches


Dick and headaches.

We’ve all done the drunk at 2am phone call to an ex right? I mean ALL of you can relate — right????

Now, let me just start off by saying — of course I’ve done it. Duh! I mean who hasn’t been drunk and sad at 3 in the morning looking at their phone like “this is such a good idea! I am so not drunk right now. Of course he’s gonna pick up, hear me out and totally understand where I’m coming from…” and when you do call all you get is “BEEEEEP…I’m sorry the person you are trying to reach has a mailbox that has not been set up yet. Goodbye.” Like…RUDE Siri.

OMG! And if they actually answer?!?!?!?!!?!? Dios guarde! You guys…I have been blessed in my life to always have friends who have never let me call any of my exes I still had feelings for. I am proud to say no ex of mine who I truly loved has ever gotten a drunk call from me because guess what? When you’re sober, you call them at a decent time and you truly tell them how you feel — that shit STINGS THEM EVEN WORSE.

Now thankfully in today’s entry the situation I’m talking about is a little different. In this scenario a certain someone (me) had been talking to someone for about 3-4 weeks. Now when I say talking I mean texting and talking pretty often getting to know somebody AKA nothing serious. It was a chill thing that was fun and comfortable and truly nothing serious at all but two attractive individuals attracted to each other who were getting to know one another. Lol. What I’m basically saying is — there’s a lesson in here just hold on.

Anyway — so for obvious reasons I’m going to guess the person being written about will read this so we will call him — Yougotmefuckedup AKA, UGMFU for short.

So — UGMFU and I had a pretty open line of communication. We didn’t lie to each other, we told each other if we were talking to other people, if we had sex with anyone else, if we wanted to have sex with anyone else, etc. We talked about it because it was fresh, we were getting to know each other and there was no point in seriousness.

Anyway — one random Sunday him and I had plans to go to the movies. Now — I know ya’ll read my blog and I say nasty things on here and I shake my butt on the gram and I post sexy pictures all the time but you guys — I am still a damn lady and I will be treated as one. Booty shakin, nasty talkin, photo droppin and all.

Because I was busy all weekend doing Stacey D., things we didn’t really talk much all weekend. I didn’t know exactly what he was doing but I knew that he had gone out. So Sunday morning comes and I’m at breakfast with a friend when I get a FaceTime call. The conversation went something like this:

Me: “Hello?”

UGMFU: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m at breakfast with a friend. What’s up?”

UGMFU: “I’m just getting home from last night I wanna see you. Can I meet up with you?”

Me: “No. You drunk? Have you even showered??”

UGMFU: “Don’t worry about me. You think I was fucking hoes last night? Let me see you.”

Me: “That’s exactly what I think you were doing. I can’t hear you — let me…”

UGMFU: * rudely hangs up*


You guys. Ya’ll think my ass went to the movies or even met up? HELL TO THE MOTHA FUCKING NO. You guys, here’s lesson number one: someone who truly respects you as a person and sees the value in who you are will not call you up to meet up when they are not truly at their best just to freaking hook up.

The kind of behavior that UGMFU was showing when we were just getting to know each other is a clear sign of fuckboy and I am way too grown to be raising these little boys.
I didn’t pick up the phone, I didn’t text back, I didn’t even explain why I stopped answering. I simply just decided that the behavior in which he was approaching my person was not good enough for me to want to mix my feelings, body, energy, vibes with.

If I can’t expect respect, chivalry, sweet talking, and basic showers in the beginning, imagine a couple months down the line??

People will always show you who they really are. When it comes to protecting your heart, vibes and energy you have to believe them and you have to trust your gut. Even if the other person is wild sexy and can fuck you whole life up. Still not good enough to let them.

Did I miss out on my potential husband? HAHA hell no. My man would never talk to me like that.
Did I miss out on some potential decent sex? Probably but baby girl, here’s lesson number 2: DICK IS ABUNDANT AND EVERY DUDE GOT ONE. Lol. Go get another one.
Did I miss out on a bunch of headaches? HELL YEAH FUCKING RIGHT.
Do I regret it? Nope. Not even a little bit.

The way you treat yourself is the way you allow others to treat you. I will not settle for a hot dude who simply offers dick and headaches and neither should you.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it now: If you don’t bring growth, happiness, trust, good sex, fun dates and interesting conversations to the table — just let me eat alone. I don’t need your games, inconsistency or lies.

To seeing the fuckboy signs in the beginning and being real enough to recognize we deserve better than that. To allowing ourselves to be given more than just dick and headaches. To not allowing ourselves to be someone’s drunked 2 am (or in my case 7 am) hook up.

As always thank you for reading. I’ll see ya’ll on the gram.

With all my love and headache free,


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