So You Wanna be Fuckboy Free

So you wanna know how to be Fuckboy free? You want to feel the weight being lifted off your shoulders and no longer care about what that asshole playing with your emotions is doing? You wanna be able to breathe in peace and not have your heart drop every time you hear your phone goes off? You wanna stop stalking girl’s on Instagram who seem to be getting a little too friendly with “your man”?

Girl, I am here to tell you that it is in fact possible to get there. It is possible to live life only concerned about you and your well being. No longer waiting on a text message, or call, no longer feeling like you’re being unfaithful to someone who honestly only hits you up once every 3 weeks AND no longer investing your heart and soul into someone who could really not give a fuck about you or your emotions.

Let me start off by saying that this process can either be really easy or the hardest thing you’ve done your whole life. The level of difficulty all has to do with how many times you’ve been put through bullshit and how much you LOVE yourself.

Now, I don’t wanna come off all high and mighty like I’ve never begged anyone to be with me and like I don’t know what it’s like to be played by an asshole who only had playing with my emotions in mind because, biiiiishhhhh I have. It has happened to me and I blame it all in my high expectations of romance and my upbringing watching novelas where the irresistible Prince Charming would always show up saving the helpless, heartbroken girl and suddenly all would be right in the world.

Except, in my case — the asshole was usually just that…an asshole and he never showed up and he never saved the day.

The number one and only step in becoming Fuckboy Free is this:

When people show you who they really are, believe them. 

Has it ever happened to you when a dude is going on and on with something along the lines of: “Look, I really like you and I see so much potential in you but it’s just not the right time and I don’t really think it’s going to workout but maybe in the future we can try it again?”

What he’s saying: “I don’t like you enough to make a commitment but I’ll hit you up when I’m bored.”

What you’re processing: “I really like you, let’s try again.”

LOOOOL. How many times does a dude have to break up with us to make us understand they don’t really like us? Look, if he’s not committing to you — he just doesn’t like you. Straight out and simple. When he tells you his situation is complicated, he got baby mama drama, he can’t get the days off work, he’s inconsistent with his text messages, he can’t leave no trace of messages (snapchat messages I’m talking to you), he don’t got a ride, he doesn’t give you a set time to meet up, he’s cancelled on you several times, he doesn’t know when he’ll be free, he’s not making a solid attempt at seeing you — HE DOES NOT LIKE YOU. Repeat after me:

IF A DUDE DOES NOT MAKE A SOLID EFFORT TO SEE ME AND SPEND TIME WITH ME, HE DOES NOT LIKE ME. 

Now say it. Say it again. One more time. Screenshot it. Make it the background on your phone and learn that shit by heart.

I am so tired of hearing my girlfriends come to me and ask me “but but but…” no but’s ladies. I have even made it a rule for myself that if I have to go ask one of my friends about a situation being complicated it is most likely because I shouldn’t be in it.

Example: “Hey, so I met this guy and we were texting but he got like inconsistent with his text messages recently…what should I do?”

Answer: DUMP HIM. Lol.

I mean, it is extreme but shouldn’t a relationship be based on love, affection and trust? Wouldn’t you want to be in a relationship where you know the other person will always show up for you? And you know you can text, double text, quadruple text without being judged? Because that’s what I want.

I am no longer willing to accept inconsistency, doubt, lack of security or a lack of love in my future relationships. If I can’t trust that you’re going to be consistent with your communication, how can I trust that you’ll be consistent with my heart?

It sounds silly but as I grow older I realize that clarity and honesty is the best way to go when it comes to relationships. Even if we’re just texting and getting to know each other. When being this clear, of course you’ll run into fuckboys who’ll make you feel silly for being so straight out and forward but it is your heart you’re taking care of and if a man does not have the balls to tell you that he is or isn’t interested in seriously dating you, he has no business handling your heart or your vagina, duh.

Everything that you come into contact with every single day shapes you as a person. If you continuously allow these inconsistent, toxic and poisonous vibes coming from these men with no intention of bettering your life come into your life, you will soon have a void in your heart for real love and you will begin to confuse this half empty promise of attention as true, genuine love.

You, sitting there, reading this and thinking of all the times you allowed men to treat you like shit and walk all over you…you deserve everything you are looking for.
You are not in the wrong for asking for honesty from the men who are interested in who you are. If they are so interested in your body, shouldn’t they be equally interested in your feelings and heart?

Know your worth, add taxes to it and raise that bitch up. It’s not always easy to be honest with ourselves. We think we love these toxic men so we make excuses for them but in reality you guys…how much can you truly love someone if you don’t even love yourself enough to respect yourself?

You gonna let a man walk all over you, see you whenever he wants, drop you whenever he wants, come have sex with you whenever he wants and just be willing and ready whenever he wants? Fuck that baby girl. You are worthy of honesty, consistency and most importantly — LOVE. True, genuine, over the top, shows up at 3 am with ice cream to cuddle with you kind of love.

As always, remember — you will only receive what you’re willing to settle for. So as long as you keep picking up those booty calls, keep waiting on a man to change and keep hoping one day he’ll realize how great you are — the van a seguir haciendo pendeja.

 

To realizing what we deserve and not stopping until we’ve found it.
May all the heartbreak we’ve been through and all the blessings that are to come find us in a rightful place of happiness and self love. Forget the fuckboys and just remember, if you even gotta wonder what you should do on any situation regarding some fuckboy dude, the answer is always this: DUMP HIM. No questions asked.

Lol. As always thanks for reading and I hope you forever keep finding missing pieces of yourself in my writing. I live to make you guys feel powerful and loved.

To continuing this journey of self love and finding ourselves along the way.

Las quiero y se lavan la cola,

Stacey D.

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