I remember one time one of my older clients (32-35) told me about how she had gone on a date and how after the dude never hit back up. I mean it’s not like she’s not a good looking girl or she doesn’t have things going for her. I guess the dating world nowadays can just be a little rough.
Anyway, I remember hearing this and thinking: “Ha! There’s no way that would ever happen to me. I’m good looking, funny, cool and I look exactly like I do on my pics.”
Well you guys, let me tell you: IT HAPPENED. HAHA.
So here’s how it went: since getting out of my last relationship in April
(blog on that coming soon) I decided to join the wonderful world of Tinder. Now, a fine piece of ass like you (reading this) and I should know that with great attention comes great responsibility.
Tinder is to make it short a world of hungry dogs looking to eat just about anything. Tinder literally has it all. The ugly, the broke, the black, white, brown, transgender, the couples, the old dudes looking to cheat on their wife, the dudes willing to pay you for your used underwear and every once in a while, a good looking, fit, fine piece of ass who seems to be genuine enough to swipe right on.
In this particular case I remember swiping right on this one dude whose profile read something along the lines of “6’3”. HAHA! Throw a candid pic of him smiling, a pic of him in a suit, his beautiful chocolate skin and you bet your ass I swiped right. For the purpose of not revealing his real name and just in case he ever runs into this we’ll call him Tristan (and because he looked like Tristan Thompson).
Anyway, Tristan was cool. He had a full time job working with computers, at best an average kisser, not very assertive when it came to handling a woman like me but he was the first person I met off Tinder and he was cool enough to pass the time.
Now, remember when I told y’all he wasn’t very good at handling a woman like me? Well here’s how that went: we probably went on about 5 dates in a span of 1.5 months. He didn’t kiss me on the first date and I probably tried to have sex with him every time after every date. HAHA I mean — I’m an aries woman, I knew it wasn’t going anywhere and I like sex. CAN YOU BLAME ME? lol anyway, every time I swear we made out for like hours an dry humped for eternity.
One specific time when I was ready to dump him and put him on the back burner for a lack of aggressiveness — he finally made the move! I won’t bore you guys with how unimpressed I was because I swear to G, it’s always the dudes with the biggest dicks who do the least to please a woman. On a 5 star rating system I give him a 2. Very passive, missionary, quiet, old couple sex. Did I cum? Yes buuuut, that’s not really that hard for me to do because like I said earlier — aries, sexual, Stacey D.
Anyway, we finally had sex and I thought I had finally found someone I could randomly hit up when I was feeling lonely when: HE GOES GHOST ON ME!!!!!! Lol! On me you guys. The Stacey D., who everyone would love to be with and never go ghost on. This average kissing, skinny, grandpa stroke, missionary ass dude GOES GHOST ON ME.
To say I was shook is an understatement. This was on a Saturday and we spoke and texted normally all the way up until Wednesday when all of a sudden, I never heard back from him again.
At first I thought I was tripping and he was probably just busy, but as time went on — it started to dawn on me that I had in fact been ghosted. At first I was confused and kinda shocked that it had actually happened to me. Lmao. I mean, I had heard of it happening before but never thought it would to me.
A whole week went by and I didn’t hear from him so me being the strong, outspoken, self loving woman that I am — I hit him up. HA! I was not about to let an average dick dude go down without hearing it from me.
To cut it short, I’ll abbreviate our conversation:
Me: “Did you die?”
Tristan: “Stacey! omg how have you been? We just kind of fell off huh?”
Me: “Well it’s good to see you’re not dead and I’m not really trynna have a conversation with you rn. I was just hitting you up to let you know that I don’t appreciate you ghosting on me after hooking up. If that’s all you wanted that’s what you should’ve said.”
I let him have it and blocked his number cus guess what ya’ll? Ain’t no man deserving enough to be allowed to hurt your feelings like that.
I’m aware that I can’t fix man kind and raise these little boys into respectful men.
What I can do though, is let all you queens know that it happens to everyone. A man’s inhibition to see your worth is not your fault.
I was myself 100% of the way and like it has happened before, it just didn’t click well with the other person’s 100%. I didn’t want a relationship from Tristan nor did I really like him enough to want to be with him. What I did want was communication and some balls to cut ties a clean way. Honesty, clarity and respect.
If you’ve read this far along, I can only imagine that you can relate. Maybe this specific situation didn’t happen to you but in some level some part of my story clicked with something you’ve gone through or are currently going through.
In the name of all men who have done us wrong and will continue to learn and experience at the expense of our hearts — I apologize to you girl. Cus we cannot keep waiting on the apologies that might never come, the texts that might never be sent and the “i love you”s that might never be felt.
Here’s to looking and finding ourselves as hard and dedicated as we look for love in the arms of the wrong men. Here’s to loving ourselves more than allowing a fuck-and-ghost situation get at our hearts.
As always, thank you for reading — I hope today you send that text and block that boy good-bye.